Stay Happy: Let go of Grudges

In a way we all do go about with grudges troubling us and holding us back in heart for a better thing awaiting factual movement to success. Sometimes the things we fight and hold grudges about are not really important and finding a solution to the cause is of paramount importance in our daily living, if we want peace of mind.

By holding onto grudges, we are holding onto the past and this holds us back and stops us from growing and going onward with our lives. Grudges and not allowing ourselves to let go of the past is negative and negativity holds us back and stops us from achieving what we are capable of achieving out of life and encourages resentment, unhappiness and fear instead of being happy in life and finding peace within ourselves. Forgiveness is the key to happiness, true forgiveness is when you can release all your negative feelings towards another and let them go completely, you have to let the grudge go not only through words of acceptance but also feel it in your heart and soul.

Why is forgiving so difficult to do?
It is our negative ego that causes us to hold a grudge and tells us not to let it go, like all things that block success and happiness in our life, negativity again plays a huge part, only this time it affects our ego. By letting negativity affect our lives this way we are opening up the door and welcoming bitterness and deep resentment and these manifest deep within us and show themselves in our health. Holding onto a grudge causes ulcers, stress and general overall poor health so it is essential that we learn to let go of our resentment and move on with life by letting go of our grudges. As with every other problem relating to negativity in our lives it is all about how we think, forgiveness is all about letting go of harmful train of thought patterns and developing new ones.

Developing the ability to let go
Developing the ability to let go takes time, if you allow yourself to look at your feelings honestly and calmly then you will realize that negative feelings evaporate and you begin to feel peace of mind through letting go of deep resentment. The key to truly forgiving is first being able to release your hurt and anger that person has caused you, without letting go of these feelings; true forgiveness is next to impossible. If you try to forgive without releasing these feelings then the hurt and anger you feel will only continue to build and will manifest as resentment further down the road and resentment will eventually rear its ugly head, have no doubt about that.

A great way of releasing your feelings is to look directly at them and in great detail, admitting what it is that has hurt you and why it hurt you and realizing why you have to let it go, look at your feelings in a different light and gradually allow yourself to forgive and let go. Forgiveness has to come from deep within you, there is no outside force which keeps a grudge building up, the feelings of forgiveness can only be generated from within yourself, only you can take responsibility and forgive and let go and move on in a more peaceful and contented life.

THIS COMMON LIFE

Daily we go on with different situations

Trying to breathe different facts out

Though seeing so many things, no consolation

Higher or lower we are compelled

Situations differs to all in bliss

Whether sorrowful or joyful we go

The trailing and training of all these

We are humans in our connotations

We go on again breaking rules

Running the race life offers all

Friends or enemies may toil

But we all do get there

O for knowledge to brood all!

The heart lingers over living choices

We are making the calls to ball

Our common life is calling onward

Salau O John©2010

I TEACH TODAY

Somehow we’ve met here today

Tomorrow may not be foretold

But in our today don’t delay

As I tray all I’ve learned

Maybe we were meant to meet

I know not what tomorrow holds

Maybe just for your season unfit

We are friends today but tomorrow

All that I’ve gleaned in facts

To you I sail before time

Tomorrow may be our friendship pact

We see nothing but our today

I’ve only come here to teach

To tray that I’ve only seen

As the highest knowledge none can reach

My gleaned, known, suffered, I give

Salau O John©2010

To your success,

Salau John

aka

T1

10 tips for effective communication

Hey friend,

Just remembering the issues we mostly have in our normal everyday discussions with one another, how we most times just can't wait to get our facts straightened out, jumping into conclusions and creating issues out little verbal words that can be settled with a little patience.


I believe we all need time and understanding in this issue of communication and having an effective, happy brain-word storming right.

The ability to be able to communicate well is essential in all walks of life if we are to succeed and accomplish the goals we set out for ourselves. The key to any successful relationship is having the ability to communicate and this applies equally to personal relationships as well as building interpersonal relationships within the workplace. Here are ten tips for developing good communication skills that you can use to build upon.

1. Always let the person who is talking finish what they are saying before you speak, if you speak before they have had their say then you could miss a valuable point, if you break into their conversation it also shows
that you think what you have to say matters more than what they do and is extremely bad manners.

2. Listen intently to what the other person is saying to you, if all you are doing is thinking of how you are going to reply to the person then your full attention isn’t focused on what they are saying and you could miss
something important.

3. Always stay focused on the present and never bring up past issues, however related it may seem. This only cloud the present issues and can make the conversation difficult and even more confusing.

4. Really listen to what the other is saying to you, it is so easy to drift away with thoughts of your own especially if you don’t agree with what the person is saying to you, try not to get defensive and don’t interrupt
them before they have made their point.

5. Instead of trying to win an argument or conflict try to reason and find a solution that is agreeable to both parties, this is a much more effective way to communicate than trying to battle it out just for the sake of
winning, this way no one is the loser.

6. Take a break if you cannot come to a reasonable agreement in a conversation when at odds, taking a break will allow you to cool down and gather your thoughts before communicating again.

7. Try to see the others point of view and don’t just stick with what you have in mind, talk over the ins and outs and explain simply and fully why you don’t think their idea is a good one while making suggestions of your own, but don’t be too quick to dismiss the others idea until you have the full picture.

8. Even if you don’t like what other person is saying try to be respectful of their opinion and do listen to what they have to say even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.

9. Don’t blow things out of proportion while conversing, if possible avoid starting sentences with “you always” or “you never”, always think about what you are saying and make sure that what you are saying is true, blowing things out of proportion, blaming and bringing up the past only creates more negativity.

10. Don’t always put all the blame on others, sometimes we handle conflicts by blaming things entirely on others and criticizing; try to analyze the situation objectively to find a solution.

HIS HE LISTENING

So many times we’ve all prayed

Waiting for an answer in halls

Like Jesus in Gethsemane no answer

We see life and many things ball

We are all same in this journey

But time holds behind the scene

And without patience we frolic

Scared of all that’s seen

Quietness parades our sights

And we hoped in answers boldness

Even the world frustrates our reckoning

We are men of great wilderness

He is listening for no answer

The command stands that He gave

But all men wait for another

Only obeying that known is safe

Salau O John©2010

QUESTION OR QUESTION

Life and men like solders

To command respect or demand it

The rich is respected even covered

How many understand these roles

The stage had been set here

Servants are commanded to obey

The leader demand respect and fear

But the servants fear only roles

Another leader came to command

But in love everyone obeyed

A friend to servants in regard

Love blossom to enthusiastic work

The question probes hearts alive

Which to follow of two leaders?

Demanding or commanding respect hive

Men knows that to hold brief

Salau O John©2010

Enjoy your day,

Salau John

aka

T1