Dealing With This Jealousy

Hello friend,

Just to help you out after a discussion I had with a colleague of mine on jealousy, a problem many do face in their relationships and living for the reality of happiness.

I lay this lines on this blog to show you a way out and give that helping hand I had earlier promised you for reading this blog.

The aim here is to help you out and give a way you can be happy being yourself and living to fulfill your vision and purpose on earth.

Jealousy is an emotion that can have devastating consequences to a relationship. Jealousy is a negative emotion that many of us suffer from to some extent; it is a feeling of emotions such as anger, hurt, dependency and self-doubt. Self-doubt stems from a fear of losing something, when in fact we ourselves often make this reality by our behavior and actions through jealousy. So how do we take steps to dealing with the green-eyed monster when it rears its ugly head?

�� Become independent – you should only truly rely on yourself and never develop dependency on one person, focus on developing self-independence and on what you have in life, not what you don’t have.

�� Give yourself a confidence boost – treat yourself to a new hair-do, a day at the spa or a new outfit, do something to give yourself a boost in confidence. If your confidence is very low then attend a course on how
to assert yourself.

�� List what makes you feel jealous – sit down and admit to yourself what makes you feel jealous, list them down and be open in your thinking, are they silly things that make you jealous? And do they really matter?

�� Talk your fears over with the person – sit down and talk with the person who is causing you to feel jealous and let them know how you feel. Are they doing something intentionally to make you jealous? Or without
realizing it? If the person truly cares for you then they are usually more than willing to make changes, especially if they didn’t realize they were causing you to worry and feel this way.

�� Take a good and honest evaluation of yourself – being honest about yourself and admitting you might have problems with low self-esteem or self-worth can be an eye opener and is the first steps to changing
your feelings.

�� Study the person you are jealous about – look at the person openly and honestly, figure out what you dislike about the person and what do you like if anything, about them? Ask yourself if you are being
unrealistic in your thinking.

�� Don’t magnify your feelings – unless the jealousy is severe or it has been with you for a long time then chances are it is only fleeting and can have occurred for many reasons, with any luck these feelings will
pass over and your relationship will calm down. Until this happens try to keep your feelings under control and don’t let them spiral.

There are many self-help methods that can be used to help those who suffer from severe jealousy, these vary from seminar/training courses, audio CDS, books and magazines, any technique which can be used to help relax and calm you down can also be helpful, particularly at those times when jealousy first strikes.

To your success,

LET IT GO

Test the waters, test the roads

Let it go, leave it alone

That which belongs will hold

That which is not will be blown

Love is love if it stays

Though the heart may linger staying

Life must go on nothing swayed

Even when in heart life is praying

Let it move throw it away

Many days will roll but wait

Let men hurt you, be slayed

Many will party end your bait

Years will come to yours alive

Casting bread on the waters pay

Losing is gaining better in brief

Let go let God, nothing dismay

Salau O John©2010

WHAT’S THIS?

The mystery began online in parts

A mystery many had talked of

Friendship beckons on the tired road

But for another, pants took off

What’s love what’s being alive?

For fear we tail the self road

I have somebody but not planted

It’s all a mystery that is gored

The line had been drawn epistolary

But poised stands the outer cover

Making a parade in mistaken identity

We made the town called to lovers

Can we truly be but truthful?

Hearts are begging waylaying the parts

The saying beckons for one and only

Let’s give that alert to hearts!

Salau O John©2010

Salau O John (O.O.J)

T1

WHY ME TODAY

The most frequently asked question I get is: 'How do you actually focus in all that you are gifted to do?'

How do you come about your writings, poems and ideas each and every time; you have so much thought ringing inside of you?

It's a good question, because there are many different ways and techniques, and of course
a huge number of people -- including myself -- find it very difficult to writing, visualize and think straight to write down anything or be committed to what they truly really love.

Having said that, to be able to write, focus, visualize your way and be committed to what you love, must follow your heart and find time, at least 30minutes a day to do what you love and sooner than thought upon it will become a part and parcel of you!

The real great secret is to go through the motions, even if all you get in the beginning is a foggy mess of starting and stopping and having so many obligations clogging you down.

You must try to change the way your brain works, by filling it with images of what you are trying to accomplish in your life.

I have coined the phrase 'Think inside the box' and walk a great deal towards internalizing your goals, dreams and aspirations into one focus.

have the images of what you want and where you are going in life into your brain cells by sheer habit and practice, even if it takes energy and a long time to do so.

Use my best-selling help book, “You can make It”(which will be available in eBook cover price by 14th of May) to steer you through this journey, and onwards to success.

The rewards make it worthwhile, because it is only when you have internalized your goals that you will start getting ideas, solutions and understanding moments from your 'life, purpose and vision'.

Paper back available; Call for more info: 08064670816

 NOT ME

My heart cries out for time
But the world calls me lazy
I tray that I know from prime
Yet they say I’m truly crazy

I know what I want but none
Yet I’m said to be blind
Why do men hate uncommon men?
I was created to be in line

I know I am not crazy
For like men I work too
I know I am not lazy
Better than you I’m tooled

The world stands afraid of me
Prayers they lay their panting
I understand but I’m free
Who can but please men?
Salau O John©

CAUGHT IN A TRANCE
Dabbling the sky in heart
Making a name in parts
Sleeping and seeing the stars
Counting but seeing many brothers

Caught in a trance I am
The righteous takes time to shine
The wicked shines few stets tram
But I see only few perfect lines

A door opens for questioning all
Who are you my heart probes it
Men are made to obey growing tall
But I say the wicked stands fit

An echo repels it against my heart
The righteous is justified when alert
But how many are these righteous?
Time and chance alone maim all, us
Salau O John©

Till next time,

Have a lovely time!

To your success,

Salau O John (O.O.J)
T1

Welcome to my world,

Today I just felt a little love poem will be in other to share out here for those who are in love and have their heart in a relationship they are looking into and working in.

Happy enjoying the little poem i titled: "To You" and "What's This", all for love and truthful hearty joys.

TO YOU

I have given my love to you

And nothing else holds me

I have sailed my words, my due

And none can hold me back

All I have I’ve tray you

Though my lights are obscured

All I’ll be I’ve shown you

Though for now God’s our line

You have given your heart to me

And nothing else held you back

You have shown more love to me

And proved that God is true

All you have you’ve given out

Though many times I pretend truly

All you’ve won was spiritually bout

Though truly Gods love made it sure

Our love was cloven from heaven

For through Gods love we’re out

And the end our love grows fruits, leaven

Salau O John©2010

WHAT’S THIS?

The mystery began online in parts

A mystery many had talked of

Friendship beckons on the tired road

But for another, pants too off

What’s love what’s being alive?

For fear we tail the self road

I have somebody but not planted

It’s all a mystery that is gored

The line had been drawn epistolary

But poised stands the outer cover

Making a parade in mistaken identity

We made the town called to lovers

Can we truly be but truthful?

Hearts are begging waylaying the parts

The saying beckons for one and only

Let’s give that alert to hearts!

Salau O John©

Thanks for being there with me...Enjoy your day out there!

This is my month of love to you!

Salau O John  (O.O.J)

(T1)

Living Purposefully – The Meaning Of Life

People always ask me:

“So since you’re obviously such a smart ass, tell me the answer to this:

What’s the meaning of life?”

That’s just what always seems to happen whenever I get in a ‘deeper’ conversation with people. And the conversation always somehow seems to take off into a massive attack of questions, in which others are always asking the questions, and I’m supposed to be the one answering them.

After all, I’m the “smart ass”…

And as a ‘punishment’ for being such a “smart ass”, they think they need to press me hard by asking me about ‘the meaning of life’.

Because obviously, the greatest minds of all ages have devoted their lifelong attention to this question. And apparently, no one has ever been able to come up with a satisfactory explanation.

So the “smart ass” must know…

And since I’m “such a smart ass”, I’m supposed to have the answer to any question in life that any person may have.

“You think you know the answer to everything. So what’s the meaning of life then, huh?!”

Now, obviously, during my relatively short time here on this plane of existence, I have asked myself about the meaning of life too. And I’ll tell you “the answer” (i.e. my answer) in a minute.

(And I’ll warn you upfront that it may surprise you…)

But first, let me make one thing clear:

I have no intention of being a “guru” who has all the answers. Nor would I ever pretend that I know the answer to anyone’s questions.

In fact, those who are pretending they know the answer to everything there is to ask, are merely confirming that they don’t.

And that’s because no one has the answer to anyone’s questions. Only you have the answer to your particular questions. I’ll clear this up in a moment too…

So anyway, I’ve been asking myself ‘the questions of life’ from an early age… I actually went through puberty pondering about the meaning of life. Am I crazy or what?

I guess that’s what you get when you become aware of the fact that you’re growing up with a whole bunch of family with different understandings of life and its meaning, while I myself put up with all the formalities life could teach me in their midst. 

In a situation like that, you’re bound to ask questions…

I mean:

- Where the hell does that ‘black & white’ intellectual contrast between me and my family come from?

- Was I just lucky?

- And what the hell am I doing here analyzing the financial viability of this plan for optimizing this middleware application for decision-modeling evaluation of whether or not to State-subsidize local shrimp farms in this far out ‘no-man’s-land’ corner of this insignificant country I live in anyway (even though I’m paid for this meaningless and mind-numbing ‘work’)? What is that all about?

- For Pete’s sake, who the hell am I anyway?

- And what the hell are we all doing here anyway?

And then there’s all the stuff happening in the world. War, famine, disease, you name it.

We’ve got it all!

In a situation like that, you’re bound to ask questions…

I mean:

- Am I just lucky?

- Who the hell am I anyway?

- What the hell are we all doing here anyway?

- What the hell is the meaning of life?

And then we look for others to answer our questions. Religious leaders, political leaders, professors, “smart asses”, and so on…

But for me personally, none of these has ever been able to give me a satisfactory answer.

So for years (even at my young age) I kept pondering, giving myself a hard time because everything I did with my life seemed so insignificant. But I kept doing what I was doing, while wondering why the hell I was doing it anyway…

And I can tell you one thing:

Devoting your life to doing what you really don’t want to do, while not seeing any perspective or purpose in what you’re doing, does not uplift the spirit!

In fact, the whole thing became rather depressing, and even started manifesting in some ‘physical’ health issues.

And that’s when it suddenly occurred to me… through a song I heard (ironically titled “The Answer”):

Oh, the answer lies beyond the pain
All the questions in our minds, we surely ask in vain

Like I said before, it suddenly occurred to me that there is no one answer to all the questions of life.

After all, how could there be? Every new answer I found brought up a new question. Put differently, “all the questions in my mind, I surely asked in vain…”

And I’ll tell you one thing:

This realization was one of the most liberating experiences in my life.

Because it also made me ‘realize’ the most liberating realization of all… Which also happened to be “the answer” to the question of “the meaning of life”… So guess what my answer was…

Here it comes:

LIFE HAS NO MEANING!

“What, are you crazy? Shut him up, there must be a meaning to life!”

No really, there’s no meaning… Let me tell you:

LIFE HAS NO MEANING. YOU BRING MEANING TO LIFE! 

That’s right.

You can keep asking questions (in vain), and never find anything but new questions…

Because “the answer” won’t come from anywhere but within yourself. Once you release the pain, anger, guilt, frustration, or whatever it is that’s holding you back… you’ll know what’ll bring meaning to your life.

Once again, we’re not trying to be the “gurus with all the answers” here.

As said, people pretending to know it all are just confirming that they don’t.

Sure, we may be smart asses, but we don’t necessarily have the “concrete answer” to your questions. All we’re trying to do is give you the right tools and knowledge to get you to think for yourself, and then make you come up with your own answers.

It’s usually at this stage that people ask me:

“So what should I do with my life then? What’ll bring meaning to my life?”

Well, ask yourself that! I don’t know what makes you happy, what makes you feel fulfilled, or what gives you a purpose. Only you know that!

And don’t come up with something like not knowing what you really want… You know what you want! You’re just afraid to admit it…

So come on, admit it. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. This is about you. It’s about your life! We’re programmed to think that making yourself a priority in life is selfish. It isn’t, especially if you use the benefits that come to you for the benefit of others.

So here’s a thought:

Bring meaning to your life. That’s how you live on purpose instead of ‘at random’. And that’s how you’ll make yourself happy. As that song “The Answer” concludes:

Now I know the answers never meant a thing
And with each instant that I breathe, I feel the joy that life can bring

Come along with me, come along with me
Seek the truth, you shall not find another lie
Come along with me, come along with me
Seek the truth, and you will find another life

“So how am I gonna make that happen?”, you ask…

Well, first admit to yourself what you really want in life. And then watch your e-mail. Because we’ll tell you about a simple way to start living on purpose!

NO BAD SEED

Nothing is ever lost to givers

The world may derail the mind

Back to back we are learners

But the heart men must find

The whether is not favorable

Looking only derail the possible

And starting the seed breaks heart

Yet only those in, have the parts

You were made a seed but sow

Heart broken the light may blow

You are a seed giving made high

And dying comes first that light

A gift came to earth alive

But in resurrection death calls first

Dead or alive men must live

You are high and on that list

Salau O John©2010

SUCCESS FINDS ME

I have walked in the un-believed

I have hoped in that never allowed

I pave the road that to achieve

But the world took my grants for granted

Certainly there’s a blessing in believing

Truly there’s a time for what’s practiced

The world will search if unrelenting

Though life will cajoled that believed

The world will search your way later

But in the closet tray your knowledge

No one may understand that for banner

You are unique the world will bow

I had thought this impossible alive

I had cried in closet praying for days

But today answers came leasing light

It’s wonderful when success finds me!

Salau O John©2010