Developing Relationships for Happiness

It's a wonderful day I believe out there my friend,

Just thought of helping you out in a way on that relationship of yours, thinking we all need some understanding to make it last in our own way.

Enjoy the days post and feel free to post your comment.

Learning to develop your relationship skills can have a huge affect on your life and happiness in life, we all have relationships whether they are marriage, living together, sons, daughters, friends and family and having a good relationship with them makes a big difference.

The biggest downfall in relationships is poor communication, communicating poorly in a relationship leads to problems such as misunderstandings, disagreements, and anger and eventually putting your relationship at a distance. Improving your communication in relationships can help you to develop a deeper, lasting, more meaningful relationship and so a much happier life. There are many tips and techniques which are quick and easy to learn to get more out of your relationships and develop them into more meaningful ones, here are just a few.

- When dealing with conflicts in relationships never bring up the past, try to stick to the issue at hand and working towards a solution, bringing up past issues will only confuse the situation more and is very unlikely to go towards resolving the problem.

- Try to see any conflict from the other person’s point of view, if you are both only focusing on your own point of view there will very likely be no give and take and ultimately no solution to the problem.

- Always listen to what the person is saying, while many of us think we do very few actually do listen whole-heartedly, most of the time we drift off to think about other things or think about what the person is going to say next.

Don’t immediately get on the defensive when you are criticized, while this is hard to do, as no one like to hear criticism it is important to understand the others thoughts.

- Instead of being pig headed and always trying to win the argument, try looking for ways that you can come to some sort of compromise together, working together is more productive than working against each other.

- If tempers become frayed while discussing a difference of opinion, take a break; going at it all out will only lead to one or the other saying something which they will regret when cooled down.

- Don’t always put the blame on the other person, realize that you are not perfect and not always right all the time.

- If you feel your relationship is going downhill fast then don’t be afraid to get some help via counseling.

- Make time for your relationships; take long walks that give you the opportunity to talk instead of sitting down in front of the TV.

- Make a surprise and unexpected call to your loved one, family members or friends if for nothing else but just to say “Hi, I was just thinking about you”

- Make them feel special every now and again, give them a token of your appreciation to let them know you care or to say thank you.

- In loving relationships make sure the other knows how you feel, when talking hold hands or show some other sign of affection to them.

TO YOU

I have given my love to you

And nothing else holds me

I have sailed my words, my due

And none can hold me back

All I have I’ve tray you

Though my lights are obscured

All I’ll be I’ve shown you

Though for now God’s our line

You have given your heart to me

And nothing else held you back

You have shown more love to me

And proved that God is true

All you have you’ve given out

Though many times I pretend truly

All you’ve won was spiritually bout

Though truly Gods love made it sure

Our love was cloven from heaven

For through Gods love we’re out

And the end our love grows fruits, leaven

Salau O John©2010

LET’S GO BACK

The foundation was rightly laid

But in building, cements, not enough

The beginning was correctly paved

But in the middle we wobbled

Now prayers are calling order

And time is pursuing unseen faces

While the future waits on plans alive

And hard-work takes tolls in places

The foundation is intact, let’s renovate

Many more things miss9ng can be added

But only with the builders to collaborate

Bringing back the missing links of beginning

It should have been to the end

But many things stole time away

And uncompleted brings many bends

Let’s go back to the beginning again

Salau O John©2010

YOUR LOVE

It was your love keeping me

I kept on moving and glowing

It was your love setting me free

I kept on sowing and showing

What hails me without your love?

For so many times I fall short

Yet you stood in all my resolve

Helping me to move in the forth

What am I without your love?

A moving bullet without a target

You were my all, my days revolve

And in all I’ve found no regret

Where would I have been without you?

For like a child I fail to grow

But through the mist you were true

And all in all I can glow

Salau O John©2010

To your success,

Salau John (O.O.J)

aka

T1

Let's Talk About Anger (Part 2) 7 Ways of Controlling Anger

Another time another day out here to you my friend.


Hoping you enjoy the last post on anger, knowing fully well that sometimes in anger we all do go turning little matters into great burdens.

Today, just a look at ways to help in confronting anger and make a better living through it.

Please feel free to make your comment and kindly enjoy the post.

Everyone gets angry at sometime in his or her life over something that happens. However, anger is a negative emotion that leads to feelings of sadness, guilt, frustration, unhappiness and helplessness. Anger is an emotion which we must recognize and be able to let go in order to be happy and successful in life, finding a resolution for the anger is essential in being able to let it go and move on. Knowing what you are actually angry with helps, do you feel angry at another’s actions or are you angry at your own reaction?

Finding out what actually upsets you is an important factor in actually narrowing down what it is that is bothering you. The more you practice controlling your anger the easier it becomes to let it go and move on and by learning to control your anger you are effectively learning to take control over your life and happiness. Here are 7 top tips for gaining control over your anger.

1. When you feel anger beginning to build up inside of you, let your whole body droop and relax to the best of your ability while beginning to breathe from the diaphragm, breathing in this way helps to calm both the body and mind which leads to letting go of the anger before it takes a hold.

2. Ask yourself if being angry and working yourself up is going to make any difference to the situation, for example if someone cuts in front of you, is it really going to change anything if you curse and blow your horn. Is it worth stressing yourself?

3. Visualize a stress free zone in your mind, this should be a place where you feel totally relaxed and calm and a place which only you knows about where you can quickly go too when you feel anger beginning to build up inside. It can be a totally imaginary place or one that you have visited in life where you feel totally relaxed and at ease.

4. When you feel anger beginning to build up due to someone else’s actions think of yourself doing exactly the same thing as they did, would you be angry with yourself if you were the one doing it?

5. Realize that it’s you and you alone that is allowing the anger to build up inside of you, while it may have been caused by someone else, you chose to let it bother you and to get angry.

6. Counting to 10 really can help to diffuse anger, by concentrating on counting you are forgetting what happened and are consciously letting anger go.

7. Repeat an affirmation or mantra to yourself whenever you feel anger beginning to build up inside, for example tell yourself to “take it easy”, “I feel calm and relaxed”, “anger isn’t going to get me anywhere” or “let it go”. Affirmations can help to diffuse your anger and get you back on the right track to thinking in a more positive and calming way.

ALLOW NOT TEMPTATION

It is beautiful it looks wonderful

What I have is not enough

It looks better than one at hand

Have you understood devil’s strategies?

To tempt to destroy future goods

Love dies for selfishness in chronologies

But to God many must only tray

Temptation will and must arise

But only discipline before helps all

Though in falling rising must twice

Everyone the process of perfection follows

One step and two many have failed

Allow not that loved to lead thought

But confer the word and sail

For in time you’re a savior

Salau O John©2010

LOVE OR TONGUED

The word goes on a voyage

I love you God bless you

But the needs stand without courage

And in un-happiness life goes on

Love or words which do part?

The world is selfish, not all

I’ll help you not with the heart

Men will and will be men

The words the action portrayed

The game of living and dying

How many understand what sailed?

We portray words where’s the action?

One step daily backward in words

While many are dying for the trust

We call leaders’ mistakes our sword

But who can but look the mirror?

Salau O John©2010

To your success,

Salau O John

aka

T1