YOU AND LOVE

Love is difficult to define as it involves so many different feeling. There are different kinds of love:
• Love for parents
• Love for friends
• Love for spouse/boyfriend in courtship or married couples

Love is very big and a very complex emotion. Generally, love is a deep feeling of attraction, fondness, respect, caring and understanding for another person, despite his/her weakness or faults.

True love is…
• A sense of responsibility and commitment to another person
• A feeling that seeks good things for another person
• It is not impatient or touchy nor irritable
• It does not bear grudges
• Not jealous. Jealous is insecurity while in love or control of the other person

What love is…?
• Love makes lovers feel good about each other
• Love is caring, truthful and honesty, not being secretive
• Love is dignity and respect
• Love takes no advantage of the other person

True love gives…
• Respect for each other
• Not to do something that will hurt the other person
• Not to force the other person to do what he or she does not like
• Always want to make the other person happy

DEVELOP LOVE
Like a flower, love is something that you plant and nurture. Two opposite people cannot just meet and have a wonderful relationship that will last forever, even though this happen sometimes, it must still be built and watched over till it becomes what is wanted.

Love can either stand the test of time or it can follow the storms of life. The storm that breaks most love can be summed up in this few under-listed words:
1. Lack of trust:
You may not really know it but 99% of relationship break up is due to lack of trust on the part of a partner or both. Trust is the vital ingredient that holds any relationship together. It is like a thread and when broken to mend it will always show cracks or wounds that are most times not easy to mend.
2. No commitment
To be candid, many, is like they do not understand what commitment is to a relationship. It is standing on your promises and doing what you have said you will do in real truth without going back on your words. Promises are what hold a relationship together; it goes along with trust and helps it grow to fruition.
3. Misunderstanding
So many times it is the failure of knowing how to handle misunderstanding that destroys good relationships. And truly saying it, this can be curbed if only friends or lovers can really try to sit down and think before talking, or one person try to reason and blame his or herself for the mistake so as to see the truth before apportioning blames. The truth is, often what causes misunderstanding is something so trivial that when known and looked into well enough will only bring laughter to a more matured person. Misunderstanding is inevitable but it can be avoided with maturity and understanding.
4. Lack of respect
This is a vital ingredient in any relationship as it has been pointed out before but you must understand that everybody seeks and love a humble person that can give respect and to men it is important that their friend or fiancée respect them, which will give them the courage to reciprocate back, otherwise the relationship will fall into disgrace in front of onlookers or outsiders. And in this, a break is inevitable.
5. Jealousy and anger
This is like sickness from the pit of death itself. You must control your jealousy because most times what is thought to be isn’t what it is. Get facts and work things out in maturity, love and respect. Control your anger, because this also has been the problem of some relationship breakup in the past and it still stands in life, causing problems here and there. Leave your anger till tomorrow and see what comes out of it!
6. No friends
Friends are needed in life, so it is in any relationship, but you must be careful of the kind you keep in your relationship because some friends are out to get and not to give or help you to improve yourself for good. Another thing is that if you do not have friends that can be there for you, don’t fret it. Find a mentor that can help you to know where that relationship is heading.
7. Selfishness
As it is said, “the order of life is reciprocal”. Everyone loves someone who gives but a relationship is a give and take thing not a do or die affair. Relationship or friendship is there to build you up not to tear you down. You must look into the one you are in and find out what it’s offering you before you keep on going in circles or miss your road in it.
8. Break in communication
Communication has been discussed before as the most important ingredient in a relationship, and here you must understand that when there’s a break in communication, the heart tends to start playing its tricks on the human mind. You must keep that line open all the time for complete communication to be on otherwise your relationship is heading towards the rocks.
9. Lack of companionship
This goes along with communication in that you both must find time to see each other so as to be able to know each other well in all areas of life. Find time to talk, go out together, play together, go site seeing together, visit places together and get to know one another better. Always have an agenda for your meetings (and ladies/girls should never go to a guy or man’s house alone without a friend except when you are married) so that the devil will not give you his own agenda.
10. Expecting too much
You must understand that asking too much is getting and looking for problems. Don’t try to expect too much from your partner. Understand that everybody have their own personal obligations in life and helping to plan, work together was the reason why God Himself created relationship and not killing one another for what is not. “Whatever you will not eat try not to smell it!” Don’t turn your partner into a thief overnight in the name of love. Understand and know what he or she can help you with and accept it as a help for future progress.

A TRUE FRIEND
A true friend is somebody who knows you
And still likes you the way you are
He or she is always on your side of struggles

A true friend is somebody who knows your
Weakness and can still stand by you
He/she is on your side of battles

A true friend is somebody whom you can
Share your ideas and philosophy with
He/she hears your cry of pains

A true friend is somebody who shares in
Your high and low
He or she will always tell you the truth
Even when you are wrong

A true friend is somebody who is truthful
And loyal, with a true friend you are
Valuable, you can be yourself

A loyal friend can be trusted with
Information that is delicate. Loyalty
And faithfulness is a key to a long
Lasting relationship, In-depth shining
Accepting rather than being a judge

A true friend is somebody who causes you to grow
Spiritually, intellectually and mentally
Your friend will stimulate you to be
At your best at all times
“By Sandra Udoma”

GOD AND FUTURE
In all things your relationship with God matters because all things work together for good to those who truly focus and put their trust in Him. Love flows from him and nothing bad ever originates from Him if he is followed to the end. He is the author of love and putting Him in remembrance can your relationship work out fine.

Only the creator of love can teach you what love is all about and help you to make it work in retrospect. Look to Him and his words for all the direction you will need in life and love.

KNOWING LOVE
Does he really love you?
• He tells you he does always
• Calls you on the phone just to hear your voice
• He isn’t too demanding, he is not bossy
• He believes you are right when you are and says it
• He doesn’t do a thing he knows you will disapprove of
• He’s always there for you when you need him
• He is ready to lend you a shoulder to lean on
• Never ashamed of you in public
• Wants you to meet everyone he knows, especially his parents
• He will give you anything you ask of him whenever he as it
• He asks you what the problem is even when you frown mistakenly
• He will find ways to show he loves you, buy you flowers, write you notes, etc
• Ready to give you an ear when you need him
• Forgives you no matter what you do to hurt him
• He’s ready to share his last with you

YOU NEED CAREFULNESS
Guys to avoid
• Mr. know it all who believes he knows more than you and all
• Mummy’s boy; his mother controls him
• The guy’s guy: he hangs out with guys
• Mr. violent; one who can’t control his anger
• The player; the Casanova who just want fun
• Mr. gasconade: one who thinks and talks only of himself

Girls to avoid
• The party masters: One who is really a party freak
• The guy’s girl: One who is always with guys and has many a dates
• Mrs. Casanova: One who just believing in one is not enough; “testing the waters”
• The liar, liar: One whose lies are uncovered with her knowledge; baby lies
• The money minder: One who cannot help you to plan but always ready to spend
• The en-vogue, fashion freak: One who wants to wear everything in town

INFATUATION
This is when your heart is pounding with a wild feeling for someone but after you know the person, you find out that the feelings dies out and there is no more attraction to the person.

It is always good to wait in any relationship, to find out and know the person you are going out with before you attempt anything out of the ordinary so that you won’t mistakenly enter with infatuation into a relationship and later find out that you can’t go on after troubles have been created.


The Book: Friendship & Courtship
From: Treasured1 Creative Ideas int.
By: Salau O John