You need to know what you want in life, how to achieve it and make it happen. It is very important that you know this, and after you’ve known it, you must train to become it. Life, they say, is all about choice, and the choices we make determine where we are going.
You have to make a difference from the mediocre of this life through creating your own path to follow and exercise your talent or vision.
ASK QUESTIONS!
It has been said that “practice makes perfect”, but before you can start practicing you need to make good research and ask questions in what you want to work in so that you can be at your best.
Cultivate the habit of wanting to know more about yourself and your calling in life; be curious in your own ways to move forward!
BE HAPPY!
What are you in this life for? Are you happy with it for? You need to be happy with yourself and whatever you are doing because without happiness you can’t make anybody else you meet on your way to greatness happy; you can’t give what you don’t have.
Whatever you will become in life depends on you and your happiness with what you are doing right now; so get happiness on your way forward and do what you are happy doing for your life to be vital.
BE FOCUSED!
There is so much to learn in this life but you need to be focused in whatever you want to become in life.
Being focused will help you to become an achiever, and it takes success in one thing before you can move on to another.
If you are not focused you will live a life of not knowing where you are going or make the mistake that will end up making you lose time, energy, etc, even your life.
NEVER GIVE UP!
No matter what you are aiming for in life, there are hurdles that you must face; your outcome determines your achievement.
Life is full of ups and downs; everybody goes through the process of tests. Facing, passing these tests makes the difference in what you will be in the future. Success is no success without its problems to face and win.
When you fall, it offers a lesson for a better growth only if you will not give up the challenge or stay down where you fell.
Face your challenges daringly and continue to move forward in life to become what you want to be!
THERE ARE NO LIMITS!
Nothing limits the potentials vested in all humans, but we all need to understand that we alone set the limits to which we can go in life. Our fathers, mothers, friends, cultures, country, etc., got nothing to do with it.
The only frontier is us, because the human mind has no frontier. The day you get to the stage of self-realization that’s when you’ll discover that God has deposited in you what no other person can fathom or do better than you.
We can make anything happen and become whatever we want to be in life, if only we can understand that there is no limit to what we can achieve or become in life.
We are co-achievers and co-creators with God through the limits we set for ourselves in this life.
NEVER STOP THINKING!
Thinking; this many do not put their hearts to. It has been the limitation and determent of moving forward to become an achiever in life.
Thinking helps you make the right decision in life, to progress. It gives answers to your problems before you venture into making any mistake. It helps you to analyze your way forward and keeps you going in idea and ideal creation.
Everybody needs time off to make the right decisions that will help in becoming what they want to be in life.
Just start thinking of ideas that will help you become what you want to be in life. Every problem has a solution; rather than complaining; think and move in the right direction for your success!
GET PATIENT!
Patience is no virtue; you must build and cultivate it. You need to learn to be patient and to use it when it is necessary, when you know it is time to strike or come out with the vision that is in you. Everything has got their time, including knowing when to come out with your goal and mission on earth.
FORGET THE ORDINARY!
You have to live above the mundane in this life. Believe in the impossible, because only your belief matters in making it in this life.
You may need to break some laws, cultural barriers, some of the things you know and grow up with that are limiting you; your own promises of failure to become what you want to be. Just make sure you do everything right after careful considerations!
The Book: You Can Make It
Out in all Leading Book Shops Nation wide
From: Treasured1 Creative Ideas Int. Publishing
ISBN 978-978-978-088-340-9
By: Salau O John
GRAB YOUR COPY NOW!!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Divine Life Of The Daring Dreamer
Lately I keep hearing and reading the same warning that when we continue in life the same way, we're going to get the same results. I didn't pay much attention at first because this profound wisdom can go either way, for positive or negative, and I didn't feel my life was going in a negative direction. But then I started thinking about it. I began to reflect upon my life as it is today to make sure that I wasn't bound by negative patterns that are detrimental for my continued success. After careful examination I concluded that I am happy. I love my life, my family and the work I do.
I felt satisfied at first that I loved my life the way it is exactly and wouldn't change a thing. But then a tiny thought grew into a concern that perhaps I have become complacent. I began to wonder if I'm so satisfied with my life that I'm not pushing my limits for new growth.
My next thought was to wonder how I can know for sure if I'm on the right path or if I've drifted somehow. Should you be curious as well, I've included the following information that will help you know if you might need to make some adjustments in your character to insure you live the fullest life possible.
Here are some steps that might give you clarity about whether or not you're open to new ideas, actions, relationships, personal and business endeavors.
First, listen to your thoughts. Do you fight against clear mental reasoning about specific actions you're taking. For example you may be spending too much time in one area of enjoyment, such as a hobby, and not putting enough time into keeping up with your career skills. You may be close to obtaining a promotion, but so might your coworker who has honed their skills better than you have or they have more knowledge about the latest technologies pertinent to your career.
Another sign is when you stop listening to your inner guidance and turn your back on warnings, insights, and opportunities to co-create with God.
Complacency will cause you to be so comfortable in your life that you'll lose the greater aspects of what it was meant to become. You can lose your best life by falling into bad times or ill health from not listening to your heart. You can lose it by not understanding situations and people with clarity. And you may lose your dreams or perhaps the better part of them out of laziness to push yourself, or because you fear new ideas and innovations that God has given you to enjoy and to become financially successful.
Having little faith in yourself and God will keep you from ever going beyond what you can see. Believing you're stuck within a certain lifestyle and accepting that it's the best you'll ever have, ties God's hands on your behalf to give you more. By believing in God's divine power to assist you in your life's work, you'll grow faith in yourself to accomplish all the dreams that God has put into your heart.
It's never easy to tread on new ground, but the dreamers of this world know that the rewards of becoming attune and available to God through inner guidance are so immense and astonishing, and with a power that is so great, that they can see what is to come before it has even manifested.
If you want to insure that your life will never go astray of all it was meant to be, make sure that you do one thing. Don't hang out with people who are small and who judge you on your past experience, but rather than the person God has made you today. Instead, hang out with people who dare to change the world with new and innovative ideas and creations. Hang out with God and He'll show you the way.
SHARING PROBLEMS
The first time is never easy
It was meant for your going up
Aspiring high the second time
Shows you’ve learn a lesson
And life is more joyful with
Its ups and down
Get acquainted with your problems
The facts of life are easily diluted
If only you will accept them as
They come
Facing them and wining
The first has come and gone
Now the second is here
Do it better and be tough!
Salau O John©
I felt satisfied at first that I loved my life the way it is exactly and wouldn't change a thing. But then a tiny thought grew into a concern that perhaps I have become complacent. I began to wonder if I'm so satisfied with my life that I'm not pushing my limits for new growth.
My next thought was to wonder how I can know for sure if I'm on the right path or if I've drifted somehow. Should you be curious as well, I've included the following information that will help you know if you might need to make some adjustments in your character to insure you live the fullest life possible.
Here are some steps that might give you clarity about whether or not you're open to new ideas, actions, relationships, personal and business endeavors.
First, listen to your thoughts. Do you fight against clear mental reasoning about specific actions you're taking. For example you may be spending too much time in one area of enjoyment, such as a hobby, and not putting enough time into keeping up with your career skills. You may be close to obtaining a promotion, but so might your coworker who has honed their skills better than you have or they have more knowledge about the latest technologies pertinent to your career.
Another sign is when you stop listening to your inner guidance and turn your back on warnings, insights, and opportunities to co-create with God.
Complacency will cause you to be so comfortable in your life that you'll lose the greater aspects of what it was meant to become. You can lose your best life by falling into bad times or ill health from not listening to your heart. You can lose it by not understanding situations and people with clarity. And you may lose your dreams or perhaps the better part of them out of laziness to push yourself, or because you fear new ideas and innovations that God has given you to enjoy and to become financially successful.
Having little faith in yourself and God will keep you from ever going beyond what you can see. Believing you're stuck within a certain lifestyle and accepting that it's the best you'll ever have, ties God's hands on your behalf to give you more. By believing in God's divine power to assist you in your life's work, you'll grow faith in yourself to accomplish all the dreams that God has put into your heart.
It's never easy to tread on new ground, but the dreamers of this world know that the rewards of becoming attune and available to God through inner guidance are so immense and astonishing, and with a power that is so great, that they can see what is to come before it has even manifested.
If you want to insure that your life will never go astray of all it was meant to be, make sure that you do one thing. Don't hang out with people who are small and who judge you on your past experience, but rather than the person God has made you today. Instead, hang out with people who dare to change the world with new and innovative ideas and creations. Hang out with God and He'll show you the way.
SHARING PROBLEMS
The first time is never easy
It was meant for your going up
Aspiring high the second time
Shows you’ve learn a lesson
And life is more joyful with
Its ups and down
Get acquainted with your problems
The facts of life are easily diluted
If only you will accept them as
They come
Facing them and wining
The first has come and gone
Now the second is here
Do it better and be tough!
Salau O John©
Living Your Life Your Way
Pleasing the masses is the goal of many, as they seek daily approval from people they may or may not even like, rather than pleasing themselves. They think, speak and act in ways they believe will give them the best possible life, all the while avoiding that important voice from deep within reminding them of an unfulfilled life that's begging to be lived.
No one would take a wrong path if they had a clear picture of how their life should go, but life just kind of happens to people when they're not taught to be aware of who they are and what they truly enjoy. So many people are confused about their identity, they aren't able to set their children in the direction of their dreams, thus perpetuating a legacy of living life for the world instead of for themselves.
Most young people don't have a clue what they should do with their lives, even though they're on the precipice of decision making that will effect their lives forever. As a result, they pass on more altruistic goals for the creation of a "lifestyle" rather than a life of self-expression and true fulfillment.
Instead of listening to their hearts, they beckon to the loud roar of having money for the sake of self-esteem, prestige to impress those they envy or despise, and an intellectual capacity to impress rather than to make a difference. But as I've said, one can hardly blame a person for falling into such traps, especially when the world gives such low priority to inner guidance and strength to pursue one's dreams no matter what it takes.
We're constantly getting mixed messages about being true to ourselves or not putting money at the center of our lives, yet at the same time we're deluged with information that implies the importance to be "somebody" through fame and riches which come from endeavors more self-serving than a lifetime dream fueled by passion and great expectation to make the world better.
So is money wrong? Is it evil? And are we to believe that to desire fame is shallow?
Well, I certainly can't deny that money is a necessary commodity. We can't live without it in modern society. So it can't be evil if it's necessary, but it shouldn't be the goal that leads us to our dreams.
It will probably lead us astray and usually away from what will give our work the most enjoyment and excitement. When we follow our hearts, money will naturally follow and perhaps fame, but it won't be necessary. The satisfaction from work we enjoy will be enough.
It's often difficult to trust putting money last, especially in times when the economy is difficult, but no matter what your age, you can have it all, career or business, fulfillment, excitement and wealth when you keep your priorities clear. When this happens opportunities will abound through a focused vision and knowledge of who you are as opposed to who you're trying to be.
Keep learning and keep building your dream while you keep your path toward your promised land instead of someone else's.
NOT YOUR PLACE
So many do know the road
So many do have their plans
But how many are truly bold?
The time and days beckons on men
The suffering of leadership waylays
The pangs of being burns hearts
But where are the walk and says
The place trays its place truly alert
There’s a place for real freedom
There’s a chance in Gods kingdom
But how many walk in true vision?
There’s a chance for changing mission
The place stands alert for time
The road awaits the kings crossing
But not all can truly align
For those at their place gets crowned
Salau O John©
No one would take a wrong path if they had a clear picture of how their life should go, but life just kind of happens to people when they're not taught to be aware of who they are and what they truly enjoy. So many people are confused about their identity, they aren't able to set their children in the direction of their dreams, thus perpetuating a legacy of living life for the world instead of for themselves.
Most young people don't have a clue what they should do with their lives, even though they're on the precipice of decision making that will effect their lives forever. As a result, they pass on more altruistic goals for the creation of a "lifestyle" rather than a life of self-expression and true fulfillment.
Instead of listening to their hearts, they beckon to the loud roar of having money for the sake of self-esteem, prestige to impress those they envy or despise, and an intellectual capacity to impress rather than to make a difference. But as I've said, one can hardly blame a person for falling into such traps, especially when the world gives such low priority to inner guidance and strength to pursue one's dreams no matter what it takes.
We're constantly getting mixed messages about being true to ourselves or not putting money at the center of our lives, yet at the same time we're deluged with information that implies the importance to be "somebody" through fame and riches which come from endeavors more self-serving than a lifetime dream fueled by passion and great expectation to make the world better.
So is money wrong? Is it evil? And are we to believe that to desire fame is shallow?
Well, I certainly can't deny that money is a necessary commodity. We can't live without it in modern society. So it can't be evil if it's necessary, but it shouldn't be the goal that leads us to our dreams.
It will probably lead us astray and usually away from what will give our work the most enjoyment and excitement. When we follow our hearts, money will naturally follow and perhaps fame, but it won't be necessary. The satisfaction from work we enjoy will be enough.
It's often difficult to trust putting money last, especially in times when the economy is difficult, but no matter what your age, you can have it all, career or business, fulfillment, excitement and wealth when you keep your priorities clear. When this happens opportunities will abound through a focused vision and knowledge of who you are as opposed to who you're trying to be.
Keep learning and keep building your dream while you keep your path toward your promised land instead of someone else's.
NOT YOUR PLACE
So many do know the road
So many do have their plans
But how many are truly bold?
The time and days beckons on men
The suffering of leadership waylays
The pangs of being burns hearts
But where are the walk and says
The place trays its place truly alert
There’s a place for real freedom
There’s a chance in Gods kingdom
But how many walk in true vision?
There’s a chance for changing mission
The place stands alert for time
The road awaits the kings crossing
But not all can truly align
For those at their place gets crowned
Salau O John©
Monday, October 12, 2009
Defining Success
A lot of people talk about success as though it's something concrete – like something you can touch or feel. In reality, it is transitory and can be defined any way you want. When I was younger, I never really questioned the artificial construct of success created by Lagos letropolitan market square, which involved the usual material trappings of fashion, big houses and fancy cars.
Later, as I became educated in professional writing and researching, I wondered if it was healthy to have my mind, thoughts, and values influenced by television commercials and billboards which were basically fishing lures cast by men in suits fishing the vast ocean of consumerism for bites. They were basically defining and selling happiness, for a price.
Rather than rely on the lagos big men trends and your friends to define your definition of success for you, look deep inside for what you want. Also, realize that you are already successful now since you are alive and you had what it took to be alive now, and imagine that you are already where you want to be.
It may sound odd, but research has shown that the wealthiest and most influential people had a mindset different from what you were probably taught in school. Instead of thinking they had to earn their right to have self esteem or feel happy through accomplishment, they started out imagining that they were already in the mansion before they had a penny.
This is a philosophy that Robert Allen, author of the One Minute Millionaire refers to a lot. Allen has been featured on television many times and is famous for picking people out of unemployment lines and homeless shelters, mentoring them and seeing them transform themselves into millionaires within months.
Ironically, I am finding myself having more success both financially and personally when I detach happiness from achievement and focus on being happy with what I have now.
In the past, I was taught the opposite: that you had to earn your happiness; that you had to prove yourself before you could have self esteem. This attitude caused me to struggle, feel empty, and it basically wore me out.
Starting with the attitude that happiness is not something you pursue, but something that's already there if you let go of all the mind chatter coming from external influences, is what gave me the energy and vitality to make things happen.
If you think this way, success starts to come naturally as your positive energy attracts more positive people and opportunities seemingly pop up out of the blue.
In thinking about definitions of success, I also started to think about the obsession with goals which I had pushed on me a lot during school. Let's say you achieve your goal, how long would your satisfaction last before you would need to achieve another.
New cars, new fashions and new definitions and standards of success and attractiveness always change. Would keeping on top of this make life one long treadmill of infinite wanting? When would it end? Would it be successful to go crazy in a state of constant pursuit?
If adhering to the "corporate" image of success drives you, by all means go with that. However, true success could be defined as happiness. Not just for the individual, but for man kind. It is usually a lack of happiness that creates conflict in the world and the world can be changed only one person at a time and it starts with you.
End#
Salau O John
Poet, Teacher, Speaker and Published Writer
Later, as I became educated in professional writing and researching, I wondered if it was healthy to have my mind, thoughts, and values influenced by television commercials and billboards which were basically fishing lures cast by men in suits fishing the vast ocean of consumerism for bites. They were basically defining and selling happiness, for a price.
Rather than rely on the lagos big men trends and your friends to define your definition of success for you, look deep inside for what you want. Also, realize that you are already successful now since you are alive and you had what it took to be alive now, and imagine that you are already where you want to be.
It may sound odd, but research has shown that the wealthiest and most influential people had a mindset different from what you were probably taught in school. Instead of thinking they had to earn their right to have self esteem or feel happy through accomplishment, they started out imagining that they were already in the mansion before they had a penny.
This is a philosophy that Robert Allen, author of the One Minute Millionaire refers to a lot. Allen has been featured on television many times and is famous for picking people out of unemployment lines and homeless shelters, mentoring them and seeing them transform themselves into millionaires within months.
Ironically, I am finding myself having more success both financially and personally when I detach happiness from achievement and focus on being happy with what I have now.
In the past, I was taught the opposite: that you had to earn your happiness; that you had to prove yourself before you could have self esteem. This attitude caused me to struggle, feel empty, and it basically wore me out.
Starting with the attitude that happiness is not something you pursue, but something that's already there if you let go of all the mind chatter coming from external influences, is what gave me the energy and vitality to make things happen.
If you think this way, success starts to come naturally as your positive energy attracts more positive people and opportunities seemingly pop up out of the blue.
In thinking about definitions of success, I also started to think about the obsession with goals which I had pushed on me a lot during school. Let's say you achieve your goal, how long would your satisfaction last before you would need to achieve another.
New cars, new fashions and new definitions and standards of success and attractiveness always change. Would keeping on top of this make life one long treadmill of infinite wanting? When would it end? Would it be successful to go crazy in a state of constant pursuit?
If adhering to the "corporate" image of success drives you, by all means go with that. However, true success could be defined as happiness. Not just for the individual, but for man kind. It is usually a lack of happiness that creates conflict in the world and the world can be changed only one person at a time and it starts with you.
End#
Salau O John
Poet, Teacher, Speaker and Published Writer
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Secret Of Happiness Is Bonding
What is the reason for our remaining alive? For what have we come here? Day after day we are being asked about the sense and purpose of our lives. And many of us keep on searching for answers. Will we be able to achieve happiness? That is also a question that forces us every day to find out its answer. What happens if the answer to those queries is quite uncomplicated? What if it is all about ONE thing? Bonding. The secret of happiness is explained perfectly in the stimulating voice of Masami Sato in the excerpt of her book, ONE.
What are we looking for?
There are so many things that we carry out in our lives.
However, have we ever wondered why we do what we do? What are we actually looking for?
The world is a confluence of millions of people of all continents, races, religions, and ideologies, doing different things. They look different and also act in different ways. All of us have different interests and each have a different viewpoint. We converse differently using different languages. We have different emotions and desires.
Still, if there could be ONE thing that we are ALL trying to get, what would that thing be?
While I journeyed all over the world, I asked people a seemingly straightforward question, "What would you like to achieve in your life? What do you really want?"
At first, it seemed everyone was looking for different things as they randomly said, "Good job", "My own house", "A nice partner", "A loving family", "A soul mate", "More money", "Wealth". "Freedom", "Peace of mind", "A life purpose" There were many more answers.
I noticed that while some of these were temporal, and more related to day-to-day needs, others were of a more spiritual nature. We yearn for temporal desires because we do not as yet have it, or don't feel that we have it yet. As different from this, spiritual desire is not about getting things we do not have. It is about a 'feeling' we look for, which does not end no matter what we manage to achieve at every moment of our life.
If we removed all the temporal desires from out list and only looked at the permanent desires, it is so obvious that we simply want to continue feeling positive feelings like excitement, enjoyment, inspiration, motivation, generosity, love, joy etc.-in another way, we want to stay being happy.
Contentment
Contentment is a state of emotion that all of us are yearning to be in. Each of us may define it differently. We may also value it differently. Each of us may be familiar with different levels of intensity of contentment. Still we definitely have something in common when contentment comes to us. And when we realize this secret about contentment, we hold the key to greater contentment, and to make those around us know the same feelings as well.
This life, that we live, is a mystery. All of us like it in our own different ways. We may also dislike it in different ways. We may wonder about it. We may cherish it. Or we may just accept it in an offhand manner. But what is the ultimate purpose of this life? What if the mystery of our existence is at hand? What if its revelation actually brings us happiness and fulfilment when we come face to face with it?
What if the truth of our life's purpose, and of its happiness, is as simple as this:
It is all about relationship.
Connection is everything
Everything is about connecting. Everything is part of everything else. If we look at our own life, it says it all. Then we will start to see the real purpose of our life.
Why do we do something, ANYTHING in life as human beings?
It is mainly because we want to bond more and more. We make fiends to feel bonded. We get married for bonding with another person in a firm and lasting manner. We raise a family to feel even more bonded. We go out and meet people to bond well with them, not only for getting advantages out of that bonding, but also to feel more bound to the world.
We buy good clothes or go to a hairdressing saloon for a better relationship with our aesthetical sense and to our own physical appearance. We eat all types of food to feel more connected to the sense of taste and flavour. We eat out to feel the relationship to the people we dine with. We get mobile phones and computers to weave relationships with others and the world. We read magazines and newspapers to remain in touch with whatever is going on and what others are doing and experiencing. We educate ourselves to keep in touch with what others know and value.
Every single thing we do is to satisfy the need for connection. If we're not connected to our own body, we don't even have to eat and sleep. Our connection to all our senses tells us to do something to satisfy the demand of the body. We feel pain and discomfort if we ignore the signals of our own body. And beyond our basic needs, we seek a greater sense of connection - connection to our existence - connection to our purpose. And without that connection, it's empty. Just like the emptiness many of us feel inside when we're not even connected to ourselves. That simply cannot be the natural way we're designed to live our lives.
Relationship is powerful, and yet it's fragile and tender..
When we can't feel the sense of connection in a relationship, we go for separation, divorce, arguments, judgment and resentment. It never feels good to feel disconnected. But we could even feel in love with someone one day and feel totally remote and resentful toward that same person the next day. The feeling can change just by a flick of a finger. And it could be your finger or theirs!
When the bonds are not there
When the relationship is not there, we start seeing problems. We start seeing differences and hindrances. We start sitting upon judgement of others and disapproving them. We exaggerate, concentrate upon, and give energy to such things that we see as problems. Under such a scenario, these problems might turn inwards and inflict pain and disapproval on ourselves. We cannot be fully happy when we have no associations with anything.
Relationship: the Secret to Happiness
What if we choose to perceive the entire thing in reverse? When we do that we understand this simple truth: we cannot feel despondent when we are in a strong relationship. It is simply not possible!
Try to feel grouchy when we have a good relationship with the people around us and smiling and sharing things completely. Even when we have 'problems' in life, we can still smile together and feel delighted when we are bound together in a good relationship. At the same time, it is hard to be happy if we do not have that edifying relationship.
Connection: Our Life
Connection is the core of everything. That's what life is. Connection.
Everything is a unified whole of smaller units. Everything combines together to form a bigger unit; the way our bodies are a fusion of smaller entities like atoms, molecules, cells and organs.
Our acts and the choices we make are the manifestations of our need for bonding. We are designed to persistently search ways to bond to each other and to a larger rationale.
Connection and Religion
Some of us have opted to become a part of different religious systems to feel better related to each other. The relationship that we yearn to build could be to God. It could be to those who share the same belief system. When there is the sharing of a similar conviction, there is a stronger relationship within that group. More bestowing on each other takes place among people who feel related to each other.
Bonding and Business
Many people start businesses to feel more connected to themselves by being in charge of their own destiny. But often in the business world, we end up feeling more and more isolated especially when we start perceiving other businesses as competitors, staff as tools and customers as a money stream. But the fundamental point of why we got into business was to feel connected. So, why do we need to create any isolation at all? Maybe in the ideal world, all the businesses worked differently, but together.
Connection and Wars
Some of us even give rise to polemics or battles to enjoy a sense of 'success' or maybe a greater feeling of assurance and self-worth. But this only boomerangs. The moment we are 'successful' in the battle, we are really severing the bonds with others. We are now in need of more confidence to safeguard ourselves from being assailed by others. The result is that we become more vulnerable and frightened. We cannot treat this as a joke because it actually happens to each one of us in diverse ways.
It may be the arguments we have with people around us. It may be the negative judgement we make when we feel something or someone is wrong. When we try to be the only one to win, we can never win in the real way-we feel disconnected. We can only truly celebrate the victory with others when we win together. Then we feel connected.
Despite the myriad ways in which we communicate our wants, everything we do is to fulfil the longing we have to feel and have strong bonds.
The real sense of connection comes only through our heart. We can connect with anybody when we are truly caring for them and feeling connected with them. If we know this, creating the desired state is actually simple, easy and fun. Then we would naturally experience more happiness and joy.
Life is like a play. We act things and feel things in a play but actually, the aim of the play is to derive pleasure out of it. It is not about acting out things, doing things. When the curtain falls finally, the winners are the ones who have experienced joy by acting. Not the ones who received more applause in the end. The effects and upshots of a play in which we acted do not affect our real life. But if we lost all our life to act in a play just because we wanted to be the best actor there, would it make us the best actor of the play?
It is so easy to understand this in the example of playing a game, but we often become blind in our own everyday game called life. We forget so easily that it is also just a game.
We have no idea when this game began and when it would be over, all that we know is that it commenced in the past and that it will be over one day. When finally the umpire blows the whistle to stop the game, we can simply say, "Wow, it was a lot of fun. Let us play once again!"
In this game called life, the aim of the game is to 'connect'. We can keep connecting until we all become one. It is the only way to continuously feel connected to our purpose-sense of happiness and joy. We cannot feel disconnected to anything or deny and judge even one thing if we are to achieve the state of total connection.
Life is as uncomplicated as that. There is just ONE secret.
And the secret is to establish a relationship.
Salau O John
aka
T1
What are we looking for?
There are so many things that we carry out in our lives.
However, have we ever wondered why we do what we do? What are we actually looking for?
The world is a confluence of millions of people of all continents, races, religions, and ideologies, doing different things. They look different and also act in different ways. All of us have different interests and each have a different viewpoint. We converse differently using different languages. We have different emotions and desires.
Still, if there could be ONE thing that we are ALL trying to get, what would that thing be?
While I journeyed all over the world, I asked people a seemingly straightforward question, "What would you like to achieve in your life? What do you really want?"
At first, it seemed everyone was looking for different things as they randomly said, "Good job", "My own house", "A nice partner", "A loving family", "A soul mate", "More money", "Wealth". "Freedom", "Peace of mind", "A life purpose" There were many more answers.
I noticed that while some of these were temporal, and more related to day-to-day needs, others were of a more spiritual nature. We yearn for temporal desires because we do not as yet have it, or don't feel that we have it yet. As different from this, spiritual desire is not about getting things we do not have. It is about a 'feeling' we look for, which does not end no matter what we manage to achieve at every moment of our life.
If we removed all the temporal desires from out list and only looked at the permanent desires, it is so obvious that we simply want to continue feeling positive feelings like excitement, enjoyment, inspiration, motivation, generosity, love, joy etc.-in another way, we want to stay being happy.
Contentment
Contentment is a state of emotion that all of us are yearning to be in. Each of us may define it differently. We may also value it differently. Each of us may be familiar with different levels of intensity of contentment. Still we definitely have something in common when contentment comes to us. And when we realize this secret about contentment, we hold the key to greater contentment, and to make those around us know the same feelings as well.
This life, that we live, is a mystery. All of us like it in our own different ways. We may also dislike it in different ways. We may wonder about it. We may cherish it. Or we may just accept it in an offhand manner. But what is the ultimate purpose of this life? What if the mystery of our existence is at hand? What if its revelation actually brings us happiness and fulfilment when we come face to face with it?
What if the truth of our life's purpose, and of its happiness, is as simple as this:
It is all about relationship.
Connection is everything
Everything is about connecting. Everything is part of everything else. If we look at our own life, it says it all. Then we will start to see the real purpose of our life.
Why do we do something, ANYTHING in life as human beings?
It is mainly because we want to bond more and more. We make fiends to feel bonded. We get married for bonding with another person in a firm and lasting manner. We raise a family to feel even more bonded. We go out and meet people to bond well with them, not only for getting advantages out of that bonding, but also to feel more bound to the world.
We buy good clothes or go to a hairdressing saloon for a better relationship with our aesthetical sense and to our own physical appearance. We eat all types of food to feel more connected to the sense of taste and flavour. We eat out to feel the relationship to the people we dine with. We get mobile phones and computers to weave relationships with others and the world. We read magazines and newspapers to remain in touch with whatever is going on and what others are doing and experiencing. We educate ourselves to keep in touch with what others know and value.
Every single thing we do is to satisfy the need for connection. If we're not connected to our own body, we don't even have to eat and sleep. Our connection to all our senses tells us to do something to satisfy the demand of the body. We feel pain and discomfort if we ignore the signals of our own body. And beyond our basic needs, we seek a greater sense of connection - connection to our existence - connection to our purpose. And without that connection, it's empty. Just like the emptiness many of us feel inside when we're not even connected to ourselves. That simply cannot be the natural way we're designed to live our lives.
Relationship is powerful, and yet it's fragile and tender..
When we can't feel the sense of connection in a relationship, we go for separation, divorce, arguments, judgment and resentment. It never feels good to feel disconnected. But we could even feel in love with someone one day and feel totally remote and resentful toward that same person the next day. The feeling can change just by a flick of a finger. And it could be your finger or theirs!
When the bonds are not there
When the relationship is not there, we start seeing problems. We start seeing differences and hindrances. We start sitting upon judgement of others and disapproving them. We exaggerate, concentrate upon, and give energy to such things that we see as problems. Under such a scenario, these problems might turn inwards and inflict pain and disapproval on ourselves. We cannot be fully happy when we have no associations with anything.
Relationship: the Secret to Happiness
What if we choose to perceive the entire thing in reverse? When we do that we understand this simple truth: we cannot feel despondent when we are in a strong relationship. It is simply not possible!
Try to feel grouchy when we have a good relationship with the people around us and smiling and sharing things completely. Even when we have 'problems' in life, we can still smile together and feel delighted when we are bound together in a good relationship. At the same time, it is hard to be happy if we do not have that edifying relationship.
Connection: Our Life
Connection is the core of everything. That's what life is. Connection.
Everything is a unified whole of smaller units. Everything combines together to form a bigger unit; the way our bodies are a fusion of smaller entities like atoms, molecules, cells and organs.
Our acts and the choices we make are the manifestations of our need for bonding. We are designed to persistently search ways to bond to each other and to a larger rationale.
Connection and Religion
Some of us have opted to become a part of different religious systems to feel better related to each other. The relationship that we yearn to build could be to God. It could be to those who share the same belief system. When there is the sharing of a similar conviction, there is a stronger relationship within that group. More bestowing on each other takes place among people who feel related to each other.
Bonding and Business
Many people start businesses to feel more connected to themselves by being in charge of their own destiny. But often in the business world, we end up feeling more and more isolated especially when we start perceiving other businesses as competitors, staff as tools and customers as a money stream. But the fundamental point of why we got into business was to feel connected. So, why do we need to create any isolation at all? Maybe in the ideal world, all the businesses worked differently, but together.
Connection and Wars
Some of us even give rise to polemics or battles to enjoy a sense of 'success' or maybe a greater feeling of assurance and self-worth. But this only boomerangs. The moment we are 'successful' in the battle, we are really severing the bonds with others. We are now in need of more confidence to safeguard ourselves from being assailed by others. The result is that we become more vulnerable and frightened. We cannot treat this as a joke because it actually happens to each one of us in diverse ways.
It may be the arguments we have with people around us. It may be the negative judgement we make when we feel something or someone is wrong. When we try to be the only one to win, we can never win in the real way-we feel disconnected. We can only truly celebrate the victory with others when we win together. Then we feel connected.
Despite the myriad ways in which we communicate our wants, everything we do is to fulfil the longing we have to feel and have strong bonds.
The real sense of connection comes only through our heart. We can connect with anybody when we are truly caring for them and feeling connected with them. If we know this, creating the desired state is actually simple, easy and fun. Then we would naturally experience more happiness and joy.
Life is like a play. We act things and feel things in a play but actually, the aim of the play is to derive pleasure out of it. It is not about acting out things, doing things. When the curtain falls finally, the winners are the ones who have experienced joy by acting. Not the ones who received more applause in the end. The effects and upshots of a play in which we acted do not affect our real life. But if we lost all our life to act in a play just because we wanted to be the best actor there, would it make us the best actor of the play?
It is so easy to understand this in the example of playing a game, but we often become blind in our own everyday game called life. We forget so easily that it is also just a game.
We have no idea when this game began and when it would be over, all that we know is that it commenced in the past and that it will be over one day. When finally the umpire blows the whistle to stop the game, we can simply say, "Wow, it was a lot of fun. Let us play once again!"
In this game called life, the aim of the game is to 'connect'. We can keep connecting until we all become one. It is the only way to continuously feel connected to our purpose-sense of happiness and joy. We cannot feel disconnected to anything or deny and judge even one thing if we are to achieve the state of total connection.
Life is as uncomplicated as that. There is just ONE secret.
And the secret is to establish a relationship.
Salau O John
aka
T1
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Prepare and Be Involved
Being involved in things makes us feel confident. We should be careful not to go overboard with that though. I know news junkies that I have jokingly told them maybe news re-hab. would be a good idea!
We should, like the boyscout motto, always prepare. Making preparations for what we are going to do helps us be in control, as much as possible, of the situation and not feel at the mercy of the situation, as if it is in control of us. This is a good skill to practice with your children as well. Issues will always arise, but if we prepare ahead of time by "doing our homework" and working out the best way of doing things for the situation ahead of time, we won't be floored when our "plans" go awry.
With children we can involve them by asking them questions like, "should we take an umbrella in case it rains", or "we'll be there for awhile should we bring something to do and some snacks?". It's ideal if we have weeks to plan, but of course, that's not always possible. Just as we hopefully laid out our clothes for school, and had our homework in it's folder and ready to go for the next day, we should have our bases covered in every day planning and have contingency plans so that we don't get overwhelmed.
Some ambitious people forge ahead and take what comes their way, but they would have an easier time of it if they took the time to plan a little so that they would have an easier row to hoe for themselves and for others involved in the situation. Going with the flow can be counterproductive if the flow takes us where we don't want to go! Lewis and Clark made maps so the journey would be easier for the rest of us! As we age, we can think more logically and can come up with skills to investigate, inquire and make plans. If that route gets blocked we have to be flexible enough to curve around any obstructions in our way and move ahead to the end goal. The best laid plans of mice and men....
We can bring others into our planning stage to find out what works for everyone, rather than trying to take the reins ourself and making decisions that are inconsiderate to our friends involved. We don't always have weeks to plan, so being flexible helps. Planning makes some people jittery. They don't like having such responsibilities, especially if they weren't allowed to make any decisions on their own as they were growing up. We make daily routines to get more out of our day, and planning activities helps them go more smoothly, especially if we're prepared for any bumps in the road. Getting plenty of sleep helps us to be able to use our logical thinking abilities.
We can make decisions easier on a full night's sleep, too. We only have so much time, and we should use it wisely to get the most out of it. We can plan activities and enjoy them if we are prepared, rather than obsess over what isn't going right for us. It will make this easier on your children, too, if you teach them planning skills to use in their future.
If you plan your reality, it's easier to create it!
What do you want to do with your day?
Until next time on this blog,
YOU’VE GOT IT
Everybody’s got potentials
Check out which is yours
When you know your ability
Then you’ll have agility
When you find your responsibility
Then you’ll feel responsible
This is not poetic justice
But the truth from true critic
Never say it’s over
When it’s only the beginning
You have a goal to achieve
Before your time
Never try the short cuts
It’s sometimes a way backward
Time and tide may not wait
Only if you wait will you know
Just be yourself
Salau O John©
We should, like the boyscout motto, always prepare. Making preparations for what we are going to do helps us be in control, as much as possible, of the situation and not feel at the mercy of the situation, as if it is in control of us. This is a good skill to practice with your children as well. Issues will always arise, but if we prepare ahead of time by "doing our homework" and working out the best way of doing things for the situation ahead of time, we won't be floored when our "plans" go awry.
With children we can involve them by asking them questions like, "should we take an umbrella in case it rains", or "we'll be there for awhile should we bring something to do and some snacks?". It's ideal if we have weeks to plan, but of course, that's not always possible. Just as we hopefully laid out our clothes for school, and had our homework in it's folder and ready to go for the next day, we should have our bases covered in every day planning and have contingency plans so that we don't get overwhelmed.
Some ambitious people forge ahead and take what comes their way, but they would have an easier time of it if they took the time to plan a little so that they would have an easier row to hoe for themselves and for others involved in the situation. Going with the flow can be counterproductive if the flow takes us where we don't want to go! Lewis and Clark made maps so the journey would be easier for the rest of us! As we age, we can think more logically and can come up with skills to investigate, inquire and make plans. If that route gets blocked we have to be flexible enough to curve around any obstructions in our way and move ahead to the end goal. The best laid plans of mice and men....
We can bring others into our planning stage to find out what works for everyone, rather than trying to take the reins ourself and making decisions that are inconsiderate to our friends involved. We don't always have weeks to plan, so being flexible helps. Planning makes some people jittery. They don't like having such responsibilities, especially if they weren't allowed to make any decisions on their own as they were growing up. We make daily routines to get more out of our day, and planning activities helps them go more smoothly, especially if we're prepared for any bumps in the road. Getting plenty of sleep helps us to be able to use our logical thinking abilities.
We can make decisions easier on a full night's sleep, too. We only have so much time, and we should use it wisely to get the most out of it. We can plan activities and enjoy them if we are prepared, rather than obsess over what isn't going right for us. It will make this easier on your children, too, if you teach them planning skills to use in their future.
If you plan your reality, it's easier to create it!
What do you want to do with your day?
Until next time on this blog,
YOU’VE GOT IT
Everybody’s got potentials
Check out which is yours
When you know your ability
Then you’ll have agility
When you find your responsibility
Then you’ll feel responsible
This is not poetic justice
But the truth from true critic
Never say it’s over
When it’s only the beginning
You have a goal to achieve
Before your time
Never try the short cuts
It’s sometimes a way backward
Time and tide may not wait
Only if you wait will you know
Just be yourself
Salau O John©
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