It's hard to contend with life when all things seems as though you are alone in the world and you have so much gifts entrusted within. You hope and pray daily for help and change but nothing seems to work.
Today I was looking into one of my old diaries when I saw this letter I had written a long while ago, during the times when the ups were up and the downs were truly down.
I told myself, "there's a lesson or two here for someone, don't just throw it away, share it".
I just hope I am right out here.
So friends enjoy!
And don't give up, the storms can't take you far, it's for your greatness; life is merely just a lesson!
LIFE CAN BE HARD - DON'T GIVE UP!
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
Hello to the world,
I feel my world is in a zest, I just could not understand what is wrong with me. Maybe I miss love, maybe my isolation. I pondered and wandered in my heart, mind for the fact of what is wrong with me. I have lost some part of me. Where is love; where is understanding; where do I stand? I can’t cry because I know I don’t belong here, I truly don’t belong where I stand for now. I have helped, hoped and seen many things, read many too; but this; it’s like dying to live. I love to sing, teach, write and help others out, but none of these moves me anymore, even the presence of my creator – my most cherished place in time! My heart is fretting, my life is dying – no friends no love to cope me out. I live in my own world, (being born and lived with many brothers and sisters) praying for someone who understands my plight.
Knowledge is lost within me, understanding fights each other, and wisdom prays to be birthed. I am not myself and the world feels to me like it as come to an idle state. I know my dreams, my goals, what I can do, but the whether it’s not favorable at all. Who believes in me, who understands me, but myself? Life is so cruel and funny even when you lay your joys and hopes with believes in God!
I lace around in my mind, sitting, asking myself, truly, what is life all about? The answer probes me to cry out and bile.
I know what I want, what I want to do. I have walked in it before and was beyond happiness. Is this how it feels for those who have hanged or killed themselves in the past before they do? No love, no joy, no family, no friends, no dreams being fulfilled. They lose hope, lose their minds for living and gave up on the grievousness of man’s toils and lost dreams with love; it’s dangerous to be like this!
Man, life is not easy when you sit, watching the hands of the clock moving against you and your dreams.
I have loved making research, sharing my heart through writings, teaching, poetry and song lyrics, with speaking. I have burn out in many ways for others and I’ve been sidetracked in many ways, yet I am a forgiving furlong person. I don’t count hurts and I’ve been used, abused for becoming what God made me to be. What can I do? I feel like my life is in obscure darkness awaiting liberation through love from the world. The worse of all; I can’t feed my pocket aright, home and outside bade me let go. Where to go, I know; but are these things really possible in life? I have seen it possible, believed in it, accepted it, walked in it, but now I don’t know anymore.
The world (it’s hard to contend with), God, Jesus, Holy Spirit; I need help!
I can remember the year this was written, it's been a while truly but I thank God that this written piece helped me in a lot of ways as it was my best friend those days when nothing seems possible and I could not confide in anyone but prayers and God with my writings; Now I read them and laugh.
With this I believe and know, 'if I can make it out of everything I have passed and gone through, then it's easy for anyone and everyone to overcome their shadows (unseen, unknown future) in life.
All you need to do is be focused and understand that, " after the night comes the morning, after the storms of life comes the coolness of days, time, peace and love.
Peace to you my friends,
Salau O John (O.O.J)
T1
MY TIME TODAY
A life of preparation
A life of anticipation
Man must do it alright
Even when darkness is bright
Let the sun shine
Let the light shine
Soon everything will come
If only unrelenting you burn
Let the world break you
Let the enemies laugh you
All is but a season and time
If by standing you align
Troubles may brew and stare
Trials may come and bar
All is made growing to stand
If for now you are sound
Salau O John©2010
LET IT GO
Test the waters, test the roads
Let it go, leave it alone
That which belongs will hold
That which is not will be blown
Love is love if it stays
Though the heart may linger staying
Life must go on nothing swayed
Even when in heart life is praying
Let it move throw it away
Many days will roll but wait
Let men hurt you, be slayed
Many will party end your bait
Years will come to yours alive
Casting bread on the waters pay
Losing is gaining better in brief
Let go let God, nothing dismay
Salau O John©2010
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