Developing Relationships for Happiness

It's a wonderful day I believe out there my friend,

Just thought of helping you out in a way on that relationship of yours, thinking we all need some understanding to make it last in our own way.

Enjoy the days post and feel free to post your comment.

Learning to develop your relationship skills can have a huge affect on your life and happiness in life, we all have relationships whether they are marriage, living together, sons, daughters, friends and family and having a good relationship with them makes a big difference.

The biggest downfall in relationships is poor communication, communicating poorly in a relationship leads to problems such as misunderstandings, disagreements, and anger and eventually putting your relationship at a distance. Improving your communication in relationships can help you to develop a deeper, lasting, more meaningful relationship and so a much happier life. There are many tips and techniques which are quick and easy to learn to get more out of your relationships and develop them into more meaningful ones, here are just a few.

- When dealing with conflicts in relationships never bring up the past, try to stick to the issue at hand and working towards a solution, bringing up past issues will only confuse the situation more and is very unlikely to go towards resolving the problem.

- Try to see any conflict from the other person’s point of view, if you are both only focusing on your own point of view there will very likely be no give and take and ultimately no solution to the problem.

- Always listen to what the person is saying, while many of us think we do very few actually do listen whole-heartedly, most of the time we drift off to think about other things or think about what the person is going to say next.

Don’t immediately get on the defensive when you are criticized, while this is hard to do, as no one like to hear criticism it is important to understand the others thoughts.

- Instead of being pig headed and always trying to win the argument, try looking for ways that you can come to some sort of compromise together, working together is more productive than working against each other.

- If tempers become frayed while discussing a difference of opinion, take a break; going at it all out will only lead to one or the other saying something which they will regret when cooled down.

- Don’t always put the blame on the other person, realize that you are not perfect and not always right all the time.

- If you feel your relationship is going downhill fast then don’t be afraid to get some help via counseling.

- Make time for your relationships; take long walks that give you the opportunity to talk instead of sitting down in front of the TV.

- Make a surprise and unexpected call to your loved one, family members or friends if for nothing else but just to say “Hi, I was just thinking about you”

- Make them feel special every now and again, give them a token of your appreciation to let them know you care or to say thank you.

- In loving relationships make sure the other knows how you feel, when talking hold hands or show some other sign of affection to them.

TO YOU

I have given my love to you

And nothing else holds me

I have sailed my words, my due

And none can hold me back

All I have I’ve tray you

Though my lights are obscured

All I’ll be I’ve shown you

Though for now God’s our line

You have given your heart to me

And nothing else held you back

You have shown more love to me

And proved that God is true

All you have you’ve given out

Though many times I pretend truly

All you’ve won was spiritually bout

Though truly Gods love made it sure

Our love was cloven from heaven

For through Gods love we’re out

And the end our love grows fruits, leaven

Salau O John©2010

LET’S GO BACK

The foundation was rightly laid

But in building, cements, not enough

The beginning was correctly paved

But in the middle we wobbled

Now prayers are calling order

And time is pursuing unseen faces

While the future waits on plans alive

And hard-work takes tolls in places

The foundation is intact, let’s renovate

Many more things miss9ng can be added

But only with the builders to collaborate

Bringing back the missing links of beginning

It should have been to the end

But many things stole time away

And uncompleted brings many bends

Let’s go back to the beginning again

Salau O John©2010

YOUR LOVE

It was your love keeping me

I kept on moving and glowing

It was your love setting me free

I kept on sowing and showing

What hails me without your love?

For so many times I fall short

Yet you stood in all my resolve

Helping me to move in the forth

What am I without your love?

A moving bullet without a target

You were my all, my days revolve

And in all I’ve found no regret

Where would I have been without you?

For like a child I fail to grow

But through the mist you were true

And all in all I can glow

Salau O John©2010

To your success,

Salau John (O.O.J)

aka

T1

Let's Talk About Anger (Part 2) 7 Ways of Controlling Anger

Another time another day out here to you my friend.


Hoping you enjoy the last post on anger, knowing fully well that sometimes in anger we all do go turning little matters into great burdens.

Today, just a look at ways to help in confronting anger and make a better living through it.

Please feel free to make your comment and kindly enjoy the post.

Everyone gets angry at sometime in his or her life over something that happens. However, anger is a negative emotion that leads to feelings of sadness, guilt, frustration, unhappiness and helplessness. Anger is an emotion which we must recognize and be able to let go in order to be happy and successful in life, finding a resolution for the anger is essential in being able to let it go and move on. Knowing what you are actually angry with helps, do you feel angry at another’s actions or are you angry at your own reaction?

Finding out what actually upsets you is an important factor in actually narrowing down what it is that is bothering you. The more you practice controlling your anger the easier it becomes to let it go and move on and by learning to control your anger you are effectively learning to take control over your life and happiness. Here are 7 top tips for gaining control over your anger.

1. When you feel anger beginning to build up inside of you, let your whole body droop and relax to the best of your ability while beginning to breathe from the diaphragm, breathing in this way helps to calm both the body and mind which leads to letting go of the anger before it takes a hold.

2. Ask yourself if being angry and working yourself up is going to make any difference to the situation, for example if someone cuts in front of you, is it really going to change anything if you curse and blow your horn. Is it worth stressing yourself?

3. Visualize a stress free zone in your mind, this should be a place where you feel totally relaxed and calm and a place which only you knows about where you can quickly go too when you feel anger beginning to build up inside. It can be a totally imaginary place or one that you have visited in life where you feel totally relaxed and at ease.

4. When you feel anger beginning to build up due to someone else’s actions think of yourself doing exactly the same thing as they did, would you be angry with yourself if you were the one doing it?

5. Realize that it’s you and you alone that is allowing the anger to build up inside of you, while it may have been caused by someone else, you chose to let it bother you and to get angry.

6. Counting to 10 really can help to diffuse anger, by concentrating on counting you are forgetting what happened and are consciously letting anger go.

7. Repeat an affirmation or mantra to yourself whenever you feel anger beginning to build up inside, for example tell yourself to “take it easy”, “I feel calm and relaxed”, “anger isn’t going to get me anywhere” or “let it go”. Affirmations can help to diffuse your anger and get you back on the right track to thinking in a more positive and calming way.

ALLOW NOT TEMPTATION

It is beautiful it looks wonderful

What I have is not enough

It looks better than one at hand

Have you understood devil’s strategies?

To tempt to destroy future goods

Love dies for selfishness in chronologies

But to God many must only tray

Temptation will and must arise

But only discipline before helps all

Though in falling rising must twice

Everyone the process of perfection follows

One step and two many have failed

Allow not that loved to lead thought

But confer the word and sail

For in time you’re a savior

Salau O John©2010

LOVE OR TONGUED

The word goes on a voyage

I love you God bless you

But the needs stand without courage

And in un-happiness life goes on

Love or words which do part?

The world is selfish, not all

I’ll help you not with the heart

Men will and will be men

The words the action portrayed

The game of living and dying

How many understand what sailed?

We portray words where’s the action?

One step daily backward in words

While many are dying for the trust

We call leaders’ mistakes our sword

But who can but look the mirror?

Salau O John©2010

To your success,

Salau O John

aka

T1

Let's Talk About Anger (Part 1)

As the day rolls on, let's  talk about anger and solving its issue today.

Nearly anyone and everyone – people of all ages worldwide – is prone to displays of anger. The degree of frequency and level of intensity of the emotion are what vary most and most often result in how well a person
handles the anger and whether there are positive or negative results.

A key to those who successfully manage anger is gaining control. And in order to gain control over the emotion, it helps to first take a look at anger itself, what it is and how to deal with it effectively.

Anger is an emotion. It can be triggered by a variety of things, issues, people, places, etc. Some of the top triggers are jealousy, confrontations, failure, greed, fear, low self-esteem, assertiveness, feeling threatened and pain.

When a person gets angry, the negative emotion can actually harm the person’s physical and emotional well-being. The heart rate increases, stress levels rise, and often a fight or flight reaction is the immediate response, neither one always presenting a healthy alternative.

What counters anger best is to be prepared in advance to learn major triggers, how to tell when they are about to happen, when possible, so as to avoid them, plus a variety of coping skills in order to deal with what is necessary. To help, keep a private journal to note any anger triggers, ways to possibly avoid confrontations down the road and possible coping techniques to try. You can use the following triggers, coping techniques and helpful tips as a good starting point.

Trips Your Trigger
When you’re calm, make a list of things, people, places, events, etc. that tend to trip your trigger:
1. Calling businesses and getting automated menus to choose form that run you in circles, accomplishing nothing productive.
2. Handling angry customer service calls

3. Going to visit in-laws

4. Heavy traffic during rush hour

5. Loosing with my Mutual Funds account in the stock market

Anger Aids
List ways to deal with anger when you’re have a positive frame of mind and are in a good mood, to spark better creativity:

1. Cool off with ice cream – As simplistic as this sounds, something cool and soothing can often help take the heat off the moment and begin cooling the entire body down.

2. Take a hike or walk – Taking a step back, away from it all, can do wonders to give you a more world-view of the situation. Being in the center of issues can make them seem larger than they really are,
making the proverbial mountains out of molehills.

3. Dance – Let it all out via your own expression. Dance to the beat of the music of your choice.

4. Write it out - Journal and create a column of ‘lemons’ along with another column alongside for solutions or ‘lemonade.’

5. Avoid / alter path of destruction in advance – Take a different route during rush hour or alter your schedule.

By planning, you can prepare yourself in advance. Plan and conquer, and keep at the process on a regular basis.

KEEP THINKING

Deeper than life stronger than death

Strange is the heart that can read

Harmonies of life oneness of birth

The mind is an ocean of thought

Concentrating the heart waiting for time

Building the life creating the future

Thoughts make that to be primed

The mind is an ocean of thought

Becoming great releasing the actuality

All that will be thought will be

Making the man making the faculty

A vision through thought must be

Keep thinking the straight course

Hiding the mind forwarding the vision

Hearing the guilt’s breaking the curse

A mission thought must be

Salau O John©2010

JUST YOUR INSIDE

What is professed what is seen?

Life and the difference faces tray

We say but the heart is gleaned

Who understand that men lay?

The inner man against the outer man

A cry within and smiles without

Against sin cried but closet manned

What is portrayed what is left out?

The inside trays the home call

A little leaven kills the whole

How can time change for all?

The day came for the beginning soul

Just the inside trays the life

For practice makes perfect all

One day the hidden will alight

For nothing change but practice calls

Salau O John©2010

 

Not Yours

The life that be, a borrowed life

The time that taken a given one

Yet you’re promised the world no lies

And forget all things do long

The days and ways do ply

But runs no end it’s own

It’s mans mistakes flying by

For tomorrow tows in line alone

Except the Lord should have been said

But no give was called upon

From foundation you came, the last felt

Yet your heart self do open

I call to order the days that dote

But will you listen, time tolls

The seeds do die before growth

So open thou eyes the days die

Salau O John©2010

Till next time.

Enjoy your time out there,

Salau John (O.O.John)

aka

T1

Tips for Getting Out of a Rut

Thanks friend for being with me all this while. Here is a post I believe will do some service to you out there today.

Just another lovely day for a post like this to help you get out of your burdens. I know sometimes we all get to that  place of what can I do to get this done or that out of my mind.

Today is a great day to let go of those bubbling troubles and giving a chance to learn from what i have learned in life and being me is better off than just looking at you and others going through  it.

Here I propose a helping hand and I believe it will be of great help to you in time.

Do you feel stuck in your life? Has the world suddenly seemed to have closed in around you? In addition, are you are doing the same thing day in, day out? If this sounds like your life then you are probably stuck in a rut, with what seems to be no way out.

Being stuck in a rut can drag you down, make you feel depressed, or as if life is something you just go through but have long since stopped enjoying. You become this way slowly without even realizing it, until one day you wonder what happened and when.

For many of us our daily life is governed by some form of routine which we cannot avoid, for example going to work 8 hours a day, taking the kids to school each morning, this is daily life and routine which for the most part cannot be changed. Another reason behind routine is the safety barrier; we get comfortable with our lives and feel secure in them, so why change?

However, sometimes routine can start to get us down, leave us with a feeling of dissociation and start causing problems in relationships, work and daily life in general, we gradually become unhappy. This is when a change is needed; this is the time to dig yourself out of the hole you have put yourself in and start enjoying life again.
Here are some tips to help you begin to take back control over you life and get out of the rut.

1. Do at least one thing everyday that is different to your normal routine, this could be something as simple as taking a short break and going for a walk, sitting down to read a chapter of a book or any other hobby or pastime you once enjoyed.

2. Take up a new hobby, make sure that you give yourself some times throughout the day to just enjoy something you like doing.

3. Shake up meal times by having something different, you can either try a different recipe or order different take out, try foods from different cultures.
4. Get out and meet new people, there are many ways you can achieve this, join a gym, club or attend a self-improvement class or hobby class.

5. Drive a different way to work or if possible walk or start bicycling, not only will this break the rut you are in but also get you fitter.

6. Take up a new sport; there are many types of sport with something for the fitter to the more moderate forms of exercise.

7. Do something each day that is totally out of character for you, start off with small changes and work your way up to bigger ones.

8. If you are stuck at home with children then change your routine throughout the day, don’t always do the same chore at the same time, shake up the way you do your housework.

9. Make small changes around the home or work area.

10. De-clutter your home or work area; it is surprising how being surrounded by clutter can get you down.

Enjoy your day,

HARD TO COMPREHEND

The issues of the human minds

The throes of life in thinking

The thoughts propelled by different kinds

How on earth can man comprehend?

The thoughts of business and relationships

The bugs of heartbreaks and poverty

The back-turned human burning lordship

Who can comprehend these burning tides?

As the journey goes on differently here

The pangs of different connotations bout

Faces differ, only the best must care

Life only in sphere does exist

Our thoughts probes us daily

What we know is half boiled

Only learning keeps us here daily

As understanding birth peaceful progress

Salau O John©

 

SELFISH ME (Heb 13 v 1-3)

I give myself to the world freely

All I know and do for free

I find my comfort in helping all

But who buys my bubbling calls?

I gave my love to all but one

Yet in time selfish builds that

I am called selfish for loving throughout

Yet I know there’s a judge above

Never was I lazy in loving all

But this pines my heart to ball

I was created to build my time

But I die daily to be fine

Salau O John©

THIS WICKED WORLD

There’s a dream planned for a child

Keeping it secret is the whole matter

Though some might search being mild

The future, it will surely come

Delay is not denial they say

But many have died displaying nothing

The world their wicked belly lay

How many understand these things?

Hard-work goes slavery comes

That to become is run after

And confusion breaks hearts in tones

The world seems peaceful in laughter

Making a dream praying the dream

Becoming the dream is working the dream

The world is a strange bout place

And planning with God lays the way

Salau O John©

Salau John (O. O. J)

aka

T1

Dealing with problem solving

A lovely day to you out there today,

Let's blog today on problems of our lives and how to put an end to them. This I hope will be of help in a way as I have seen it in my life.

Truly we all come across problems that affect our life and we have to deal with them. However, its how we deal with them that can make all the difference.

Problems can occur in life through mistakes that we make ourselves or through unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, whichever way they cross our path we should deal with them in the same levelheaded way.

Stay in control
There are basic ways in which we can help ourselves overcome problems easier when life throws them our way but the most important of them is to remain in control of your thoughts and feelings. Remember that worrying and getting upset about any situation wont change the situation in any way, it won’t make it go away by magic. Try to think of problems as challenges that arise, tests that are put in our path to see how we deal with them and overcome them.

It is all about how we deal with problems emotionally that matter, our emotional state can take us through our problems if we allow it to. If you are prone to worrying when problems arise and allow depression to set in, you still have to get through the tough times, only they will be so much harder to get through.

The first thing you have to understand is that you don’t have to understand the cause of the problem in order to solve it and get past it. If only I knew why? Is the first question that many of us ask when faced with difficulty, but knowing why doesn’t change anything. The solution to the problem lies ahead not behind and this is the way you should be looking, don’t spend energy trying to figure why, spend it focusing on looking for the solution.

Don’t spend anymore than 20% of your time on focusing on the problem and wondering why; do spend 80% on figuring out a solution to the problem. The only question you need to ask yourself is “what am I going to do about it?”

When problems get you down
If problems are getting you down remember that everyday is a new day, while life seems to be throwing many problems your way right now it doesn’t mean it will tomorrow. Leave the past where it belongs and only concentrate on the future and it getting brighter day-by-day.

To lift yourself up out of the blues ask yourself “what is happening in my life right now that I have to be grateful for?” if you sit down and think deeply about this, no matter how many problems you seem to have right now there is always something which you should be grateful for.

So dealing with solving problems is all about how you look at them, face them head on and don’t shrink from them in despair. Focus on obtaining a solution for solving the problem and then go for it full steam ahead until you have dealt with it and got through it.

NEVER GONNA GIVE IN

The pressure breaks on both sides

The turning point is cast out

So adamant stands the slide

Who can change this trend?

Everything sounds odd and outdated

Even friends collide my time alive

I am pursued and daily quoted

Yet never gonna give in today

I will the world a seeing

For many had gone through these

A cry for nothing but the best

Just gonna be quiet and stand

My days are coming back

To become and stand in line

Many like me are there

These days was giving in signs

Salau O John©2010

I WILL

I know I will, one day

I will become my dreams

I know I will someday

I will become my vision

I care not what the world says

I care not for lives storms

For I know I will soon sail

And all eyes will see soon

I know I will this day

I know I will throw grains

My love will find me soon

And my aim will become true

I will become my hope

I will walk in my supposed

Though the world can’t cope

I will become my proposed

Olanrewaju O John©2010

LOVING THE BALL

Many times we’re falling

Apart from childish fallout

Life is all about falling to rising

Though not all can love tryouts

Many days we’ve all failed

Apart from failing in schools

Love is risky all do bailed

Though not all can be that tooled

Many assumptions had made lost

Apart from mischievous advices on taken

Life offers free-bad course on toast

Though understanding derail the taking

Loving the life and men is odd

Apart from pleasing the world balled

Life and love will call man’s sword

Though those succeeding will ball

Salau O John©2010

KEEP THAT PEACE

Happiness will wage the heart in success

The mouth will travel to broad subject

While the enemy stands idle in wickedness

Many do not understand failed future

Success calls on all to understanding

What should have been should have been

But open throat was that unrelenting

And not all that’s seen wants future

All are made in secret to tray

Half done is better before open trench

Life is but secretive to no delay

And only wisdom helps in fruition

Hold your peace till you succeed

Men waylays the plan they see

Stand aside the enemy will plead

But let not the mouth open undone

Salau O John©2010

To your success,

Salau John
aka

T1

Dealing with Disappointment

Hello to you today,

After some silence  out here for the bliss of life, learning and business I am here again with something from what I've learnt. 

Enjoy the day's blog:

No matter how hard we try and how positive we try to remain about situations, we all end up having to deal with disappointments sometime during our life. We plan, we set goals in order to succeed in life but invariably, even though we give it our best shot, things don’t turn out as expected and disappointment sets in. Disappointment in itself is not particularly a bad thing; its how we choose to deal with it that can make a difference. If we simply choose to accept the failure and allow the disappointment to wash over us and quickly go away we don’t suffer adverse consequences, it is only when we allow the disappointment to linger and we dote on it that negativity and bad feelings can stay with us.

Some disappointment in life can be good for us because it allows us to grow and develop and practice thinking positively, going through disappointment and coming out the other side still wearing a smile makes us realize that no matter what life throws at us we can overcome it. Here are some tips to help you deal with and overcome disappointment when it rears its head.

1. Realize that grief, stress, anxiety, fear, pain and suffering are just a natural part of life that we have to go through, it’s how we deal with it and come out the other side that matters.

2. If family members or loved ones are causing you disappointments remember that no one is invulnerable, you cannot always live up to your expectations or yourself so how can you expect others to be perfect.

3. When faced with disappointment instead of looking at it as though it is a bad thing, welcome it and think of it as a test or challenge.

4. When things go wrong analyze the situation, see what you can learn from it and then let it go.
5. If you are constantly running into a brick wall when trying to reach long term goals, remember there cannot be failure unless you give up, so keep trying until you get there.

6. If you run into a dead end turn around and go another way, by staying flexible you are able to obtain your goal any way you can.

7. Don’t except anything more from life than what you are willing to put in, if you don’t expect anything more, you won’t be disappointed.

8. If you are having a particularly bad time overcoming disappointment it can help to talk about it, by talking about it and letting it out you realize that you are not alone when it comes to suffering disappointment.

9. Patience can really be a blessing when it comes to dealing with disappointment, just simply let the feelings pass over you and disappear and get back on the right track.

10. Don’t be conned by foolish and unreasonable expectations about life, if you are constantly looking for perfection then you will be disappointed for sure.

BREAKING THE HEART

You have been true before now

As men part their promises goodbye

Love came and slaps you somehow

You put all in the closet now

As days rolls by ends cry you

Like the mad man roam the street

Nothing breeds good thoughts due

Oppositions understands not your fret

Will love ever come back home?

Will acceptance ever be welcome?

The heart is on a voyage alone

Who can tell it back to tray?

Breaking the heart is a seed

It grows to dabble other things

But for time it breeds and bleed

Mending wall is focus and forgiveness

Olanrewaju O John©2010

TAKING IT ALL BACK

Sometimes in selfishness we all go

Going the way of men's words

We kill the love, break the flow

For action speaks louder than hearts

The gifts of love stand to heal

But two opposing forces derail foundation

Men and ego nothing makes feel

For fear of time all things collide

It was professed for a future coming

The heart sails on the voyage alive

But soon the outer voice kills reigning

For two masters breaks the ship

The world will moot no matter what

But only two hearts lays their plan

Taking back all gifts is wrong advice

But love breaks the aftermath alive

Salau O John©2010

 

SAYING GOODBYE

You’re making me say goodbye

No matter how hard I try

I searched my heart for your hurts

But nothing I could find to but

You should have told me the truth

We had no plan of getting loot

I truly love you till the end

But you had other planned friends

I am saying what was not intended

The journey was truly fine and bonded

I’m gonna miss you but a while

Please understand I call on another style

You’re making me say goodbye

This is not another one cry

I will always remember the days

You were in the beginning, my say

Salau O John©2010

KEEP THINKING

Deeper than life stronger than death

Strange is the heart that can read

Harmonies of life oneness of birth

The mind is an ocean of thought

Concentrating the heart waiting for time

Building the life creating the future

Thoughts make that to be primed

The mind is an ocean of thought

Becoming great releasing the actuality

All that will be thought will be

Making the man making the faculty

A vision through thought must be

Keep thinking the straight course

Hiding the mind forwarding the vision

Hearing the guilt’s breaking the curse

A mission thought must be

Olanrewaju O John©2010

To your success,

Olanrewaju O John (Salau)